About Imago Couples Therapy

Imago Couples Therapy teaches couples how to communicate clearly and effectively while separating past emotional wounds from the present.  Imago focuses on understanding each partner's emotional experience and bringing that awareness to the connection.

There is a wonderful sense of well-being when one's needs are being met at the beginning of a relationship.  However, as time goes on we are often disappointed and find ourselves embroiled in difficulties we thought we had left behilnd. Positive communication often seems impossible.  If our relationships don't end we often find we are living in a state of extreme compromise and sacrifice. This is not what any of us had in mind and this is not the way it has to be.

Through understanding the coping styles, needs and past hurts of each partner, couples can change hurtful patterns and experience greater connection.

It is natural that we pick partners who stimulate old wounds.  Though we would never consciously choose pain and usually do not foresee the difficulties that later arise, the unconscious part of our brain is a master at recognizing familiar patterns and warning signs.  When our unconscious mind sees these familiar patterns (even though the person in question usually looks quite different to us!) it is actually drawn to old unresolved situations from our past which it is seeking to work out.  

And so we are usually unwittingly attracted to exactly the person who will challenge us where we need the most healing!

This is where the possibiity of change comes in.  We can turn unconscious conflicts into concious intentions and behaviors that heal past hurts and address unmet needs.  The fact that we have difficulties does not mean that we are in the wrong relationship.  If both partners are willing to work at creating a conscious, respectful, healing partnership, each can promote healing for him or herself, the other and the relationship!